UX writing can feel like a one-sided dance. It’s a conversation with someone you don’t know and may never see. You lay down the steps, they finish the moves.
To prepare for this tango, you peck around for pieces of your conversation partner: personas, user research, and usability tests. These clues tell you someone’s predilections. But knowing about someone and knowing them is not the same.
In the real world, when we meet someone new, etiquette tells us to default to neutral ground. Don’t ask about politics or religion. Leave the questions about relationships for later. Don’t get too personal too fast.
We have ways to articulate this everyday boundary.
I don’t know them well enough to joke that way.
It wouldn’t be my place to ask.
We’re not close like that.
That’s why three words in UX writing have always left me livid.
Are you sure?
Before I declare this tired line a burr on the sock of UX writing, let’s inspect all its angles.
Examine its duplicitous nature. On the semantic surface it appears like a simple interrogative sentence. But it’s actually a judgment call.
Evaluate its impact as a tool. A hasty “Are you sure?” cannot prevent catastrophe. Words alone can’t fix bad design. The right strategy is to make it impossible for the user to do something terrible.
Look at its tonal weight. Who in your life has the emotional capital to stop you mid-action and demand that you answer, “Are you sure?” I bet the list is short.
Are you sure you want to leave without saving all your precious and special changes?
Why is this the industry-standard first swing? I guarantee it is not the best we can do as writers.
Maybe you’re are a loving, caring designer writer (Your job title doesn’t matter) who is currently clutching at your sweater vest and yelling at the screen, “Hello… we want to prevent the user from making a costly or harmful mistake?”
Everyone wants that. The user wants it even more than do. But you can't control every aspect of their experience. You can give them the information they need to make a clear decision, and then let them make it.
You are a guide, not a bodyguard.
When you ask “are you sure” you are projecting insecurities about the design onto the user. “Are you sure” is not a them problem, it’s an us problem. It means, “We aren’t sure.” You haven't anticipated the user’s needs correctly or you aren’t providing an undo state for this high-cost action or you’re hiding something in the interface that should be easily visible to help them make the right choice.
Even with the miles of distance and code and pixels and corporation between you and the person reading your writing, you are still obligated to see that person as a full human and treat them with respect.
Asking them “Are you sure?” robs them of agency. And as a designer your job is to do exactly the opposite: empower people. Remove obstacles. Point them on a helpful path. And ultimately, respect their free will.